Well, I kind of felt this one coming. I couldn't really fathom the empty feeling this left me with this Christmas. Truly one of the only traditions that my family held on to for many years to show love and support for each other regardless of any short comings of falling outs. A some what of a tight bind that was held dear to my grandmother which ultimately became unbound this year. My family's yearly Christmas eve celebration suddenly came to an end. As far as I could remember while growing up, was all the good times that we all had. Running about and seeing all the cousins while the adults enjoy each others company over a Miller lite and coffee. This was something I would hold close to my heart. Honestly this was something my grandmother held great pride in.
I could remember our prayers before we enjoyed all the great food; the turkeys, ham, tamales, potatoes and all of my Tia's own special dishes set out before us to eat. I specifically remember one our last with Mama, while we held each others hands in prayer, I made a quick glimpse over to her and saw tears in her eyes. These were tears of accomplishment and not of sorrow. She was very thankful to the lord for all of us. Even more thankful to have us all together as a family. I cant help but feel ashamed for what has become of our family tradition. I could only imagine the sorrow my grandmother would have felt if she were alive to witness this. The only thing I could do is make a special promise to her that I will not let this happen again.
I love you Mama and may you rest in peace...